Into The Blender

 I won't pretend to have all the answers. That isn't what this is about. More or less it is a place to get my thoughts down on paper, yet again. I think I have some advice, some wisdom and maybe even a few little amusing stories to tell along the way as a mother of four children, soon to be six. 

Here's how this whole thing started. I got divorced. Well, technically I am not divorced yet. Thanks to COVID what was supposed to be done and over with 90 days after I filed for divorce, has now taken well over six months. I guess I can thank the damn virus for yet one more reason my life isn't totally the way I planned it would be in my 30's! Anyway, enough about COVID, we've all heard how miserable it is making everyone, this is about my life. 

So back on track. This all started because of my divorce. I suddenly found myself single and ready to move on with my life. It didn't take long. I was sick of being unhappy. After years in a marriage that was unhealthy at best, I decided it was time to choose to do something for myself for once. SOOOOOO.....I started dating again. And date I did. LOTS of dates. Frankly, a few too many if you ask me, but what was a fairly young, still attractive and vivacious young woman to do? Sit around and mope at home?! No way! Not me! That will be a hard pass! So I jumped in there feet, nay head, first. 

First I had a string of one night stands and bad first dates that never really amounted to much. I was okay with this, I assumed that was what dating was going to be like for a while. I didn't enjoy this phase of post-marriage life to be honest. In fact I hated it! I was eager to find someone to spend day to day life with. Someone I could laugh with, but I could also be brutally honest with. So I settled for the first guy that came along. Needless to say THAT crashed in a blaze of glory but the disappointment lasted a mere few days and I was back out there again. Then I met the next guy. I took my time a bit this go around, yet still I moved probably a little faster than I should have. He was great, but he didn't want the responsibility of kids. NEXT! 

I formed a friendship with someone else and decided to give him an honest chance. I'm so glad I did too because he's turned into the best decision I could have ever made! He's perfect for me! He is my balance and the person I love spending time with. He's pretty much everything I could have ever hoped for in a partner and more. 

There's one catch with my partner, he comes with six kids. Somehow I've found myself in a blended, bi-racial family. Not only are my partner's kids black, they are adopted. Sooooo, here we are raising six kids together, all with their own unique set of challenges, personalities and histories. 

I never really thought I would find myself in this situation, but somehow it has happened and I'm actually thankful for it. My kids are adjusting, his kids are starting to get to know me. I'm learning how to parent along side someone, which I didn't really have with my first husband. Meanwhile we are making plans to get married and make it official that our families become one unit. 

It's hard being a blended family in a lot of ways too. I don't want to replace their mother and I don't want to step on her toes. She's a good mother. In fact she's actually a decent person, which not many people can say about their partner's ex-spouse. My partner certainly can't say that about my ex! Suddenly I'm finding myself being a step mother and mother all in one. It's a strange feeling but also exciting and wonderful! 

I get excited about the moment when our families will officially combine. My step-children will find themselves inheriting four other siblings. My children will find themselves inheriting two other siblings. My seven year old is VERY excited about this though. He loves the idea of getting another little brother and little sister, both of whom don't whine and cry or need constant attention as is the typical way people obtain siblings.